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| I wrote this poem for my ex-girlfriend back in late 2004 .
Found it on an old entry so I decided to share it .
My Thoughts On You While You Were Asleep
You are the girl I hold dear , who in turn holds my trust .
I know at frequent times I'm doubtful
and I seem to be fishing for reassurance .
But I'm not .
I do believe you .
Sometimes I seem half-hearted towards it .. but it's only mere hesitation .
Not that I'm hesitant to have confidence in your words ... it's never that .
But to come into terms with myself
And realize I have no reason to doubt you .
You are the girl who makes every day exciting .
Regardless of what we do
You can heartily agree
It is a day well-spent .
I go to sleep with enjoyment echoing in my mind ..
Only to be challenged by the anticipation of tomorrow .
I want to see you again .
Everyday .
Until there are no more memories to create .
You are the girl who knows me .
Though people have been here
Since my life began
You were the only one
Who saw my life had stopped .
And you've never let me stay that way .
You've always said you can't give examples .
But you don't know ..
You've given yourself as an example
Of why I should never stop again .
You are the girl whom I will eventually have to let go .
But for now ..
All I'm thinking is ..
Should I kiss you .. or watch the road ...
Because I'd rather be left broken hearted .
Than never have experienced .
You .
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| this one girl . she had the ammo
to smash on me with her poetry .
and with all due respect
i'll try to meditate on her
for a minute . devoted .
but i know it .
even if i put my work in .
my mind can't help but forget her
before her minute is up .
as always . all out .
and i won't even be able to tell you who this is about .
why it's important .
or why i wrote it .
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| Self Development Unaccounted For
I changed a lot .
Wait . Was that fact or uneducated assumption ? Let's delve and deduce .
I feel differently towards much of the world than I used to .
I find myself unable to appreciate .. well, myself I suppose . Among other exteriority .
As the days cross out, I look in the mirror and I am less satisfied each time . But with what exactly ?
Aces . This isn't a surface issue . Or an esteem dilemma .
There is something missing from my life and I'm sure of it .
Something that used to be here . Not physically . But a way that I used to be . That I'm not anymore .
But it disappeared too unexpectedly for me to realize it right away .
Hm . And I thought it was here all along . Guess that's what left me screwy . Lying to myself possibly ?
I drrrreeeeeaaaad that ...
Think Tank
Repeat occurrences . A million people have told me that I think too much . Or actually, maybe one person just told me that a million times . Regardless, I don't believe anybody thinks too much .
I think the capacity of what you are able to think, is thinking just enough .
If you are able to think more than what the average thinker thinks thinking should be, then kudos .
How can a person expect you to think less ?
Thinking less than what you normally naturally think takes thinking in itself .
Therefore you apply more thinking to cause yourself to intentionally think less by choice .
If you even have the thinking power to reduce your thinking at will, then you are one powerful thinker .
Just reading all that might serve as an indicator of how much you really care to think at this moment .
Late hour equals less effort equals veritable unintended bedtime stories from yours truly .
I think . A lot . And quickly . Amletoki . Word comprised of my ex-girlfriends last initials in chronological order . Trust . I'm the sultan of stacking useless information .
Thinking at accelerated dimensions may not always prove integral, but it's still not reason enough to cap it .
Paradoxic Waste
I find myself at the word of the day . Paradox .
People have called my thought process a paradox . Let's produce truth for that statement if at all such reinforcement proves itself available .
The dictionary defines PARADOX in 4 ways .
1. A statement or proposition that seems self-contradictory or absurd but in reality expresses a possible truth .
Nice . This works well for me . I have no problem appearing self-contradictory because a good amount of the time, I am . By human nature I seem to contradict myself . However, I haven't got as much of a scapegoat for being absurd . Although it's refreshing to believe that through shadows of contradiction and absurdity, truth can be achieved . Realistically .
2. A self-contradictory and false proposition .
Well this would be the negatory to the aforementioned . Peachy keen . I understand its existence but I hope my thoughts don't align themselves into this category .. very often .
3. Any person, thing, or situation exhibiting an apparently contradictory nature .
Nuts and bolts . I love how it's always apparent . It must be a tour de force a la coup de grace when a paradox proves true . Label things as paradox at your own risk, ladies and gentlemen .
4. An opinion or statement contrary to commonly accepted opinion .
Bingo starr . Commonly accepted opinion has been debunked in history repeatedly . The defeat of a paradox is what seems to progress history, science, and society in multiple cases . I love you paradox . Your definitions are 1 against 3 .
Meaning majority of them don't necessarily indicate 'a bad thing'.
My thought process is a paradox . And I enjoy that I 'think too much'.
List Me List Me
Here are a list of things that would've never existed unless somebody 'thought too much'.
The Internet
Advanced Calculus
Modern Philosophy
The X-Men
Las Vegas
Architecture
Any Compact Device With a Lowercase i Preceding a Word
Books With 500+ Pages With No Pictures
The Matrix
Jeopardy
Adobe Photoshop
Astrology
Bananas
Scrabble (Especially When Using Nonsense Words)
Telling Denny's It's Your Friend's Birthday When It's Not
Higher Megapixels
Insurance
Fashion
Extra Strength Tylenol
Homogenized Milk
Jumping to Conclusions
Clue
Magic Shows
Hairstyles
Kama Sutra
Clever Myspace Headlines or Photo Captions
Good Choreography
Electric Guitar
Asking Questions
Prime Meridian
Toilets That Flush
Anything Strong Enough For a Man
Anything PH Balanced For a Woman
Here are some things that don't require too much thinking .
Breathing
Finding a #2 Pencil
Accidentally Doing Anything
Wolfenstein
Hopscotch
Smoking
Getting a D+ in P.E.
Looking for Starbucks (Starbucks looks for YOU)
Alcoholism
Choosing to Sneeze
Deciding Between Cake or Burning to Death
Drawing an X
The Pledge of Allegiance
Learning to Cuss
Playing Mall Madness
Jump-Kicking the President
Debating Whether to Use Cliffs' Notes or Read The Whole Book
Clapping Your Hands Without Missing
Sleeping With Your Mouth Open In The Car
Finding Porn Via Google (Accidentally, Intentionally or Other)
Cheating During Heads Up Seven Up
Insulting 50 Samoans Already Running In Your Direction
Seeing Yourself In The Mirror
Getting Itchy
Going Bald
Finding a Difference Between Earth and The Sun
Keep The Change
I suspect whatever feels like it's missing in my life is rightfully absent . I learned a lot in today's analysis . I'm proud of you, my brain . Thinking too much is what got me where I am with what I can do . And until I find myself on a day where I am unhappy with my placement in life, I will nay regret ye . That didn't make sense . But us pirates don't have to .
Scallawag .
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| Okay randomly !
I'm going to start writing in this again . Now that I know people don't actually read it .
Who's is still on active duty in xanga ? It's not the hotspace anymore yah .
I have sooo much to say ! Okay check it .
Um .
Uhhh ...
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| Everyday:
Dear Yesterday,
Please don't let me forget about you.
I need my mistakes and my memories of failure.
In order to succeed for Today and Tomorrow.
Show me what I've done so I can do more.
And teach me ways I can visit you, without staying for too long.
Dear Today,
Refuse to be taken for granted.
And encourage my choice to love you.
Help me to make you beautiful.
So that when you become Yesterday
I will remember you Tomorrow.
Dear Tomorrow,
Be nothing like Today.
And everything more than Yesterday.
Teach me the value of time
As I appreciate your arrival.
Because Yesterday and Today both know, you can never promise to arrive.
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being gemini man .